I have no idea what to write here. I’m 99,9% sure nobody will read this anyway. But just in case somebody does… I’ll just go with honesty.
When somebody asks me, “Tell us something about yourself”, I never know what to say. Who am I?
I’m the girl who stands in the corner and hardly ever has anything to say. She just keeps on dreaming, with her head in the clouds and her high hopes.
Sometimes it feels like nobody in the entire fucking universe understands me, but then I realize it’s okay ‘cause usually it’s hard even for me to understand what’s going on in my weird head. I don’t feel very comfortable around new people and I need time to get used to them. At first I’m the shyest person you’ll ever meet, but if you give me a chance and get to know me a little better, I may easily become your best friend forever.
I always try to give people the best of me. I want to be somebody different in this cold and strange world we’re all trapped in, to make a difference and to stand up for something in my life, even if that means standing alone. Don’t ask me what I want to do in the future, because the only answer you’re gonna get is: “I don’t know”. But that’s a lie. I do know. I want to live a happy life - that’s what I wanna do in the future.
I don’t know whether I’m a pessimist or an optimist… But I consider myself someone stuck between these two. I’m still working on myself, trying to see all the reasons to be happy, even the smallest ones, because I know there are thousands of them. Sometimes it gets hard, but I guess everybody feels that way. But that’s how life works - nobody said it would be easy, huh? And if it was, then I’m pretty sure we’d all end up being bored to death. In general, that’s what I keep telling myself: difficult means interesting and weird means awesome.
I like doing creative stuff like drawing, painting etc. I also love writing: I write about everything, about the things that surround me, about what happens in my life, trying to put every little emotion and feeling into my words - that’s the best way to express myself and it really helps when I get kinda lonely and have nobody to talk to; it allows me to get things out of my chest. I have a big pile of written diaries and even a bigger pile of the unwritten ones: so many blank pages waiting to be filled with my memories. Sometimes I also write fictional stories… once tried to write poems but I sucked.
I like reading good books and listening to music. Music is everything. Music is my best friend. Music is life. Music is breathing. (…) There’s no day without music. It’s sort of a way to escape the real life, turn the world off for a while and stop thinking about all the shit surrounding me. Thanks to music, I feel less alone. It makes me believe that maybe somewhere there’s a place for me in this world, where I belong. It makes me feel alive. And nothing else matters. AMEN.
Tumblr showed me that there are a lot of people like me and that I’m not the only one. The amazing thing about it is that I can be fully honest here without being judged. Which is pretty much why I am here. I also created a personal blog - http://weird-means-awesome.tumblr.com - where some of my words soaked with some uncontrolled emotions and feelings can be found. The only reason it’s protected is that it’s very personal and I don’t want certain people to find out what I write about there. But feel free to ask for the password if you’re interested :)
So, there, I told you my story. Well, at least some part of it. To know more, talk to me.
'Cause, you know, that's how I make friends - wait for them to talk to me. Hahaha.
Thank you for reading.
Love, Kate. xo